See this little guy? This is our beautiful toddler TJ. He’s just a little over two and a half, has wiry red hair and a personality to match. He loves trains and anything with wheels, and he would spend his entire life outside if we let him. He’s always moving, incredibly clever, and fiercely affectionate. He loves his baby brother and brings so much joy to our lives.
He also has autism.
A few months ago, I took TJ in for a checkup with our family doctor. Because he wasn’t talking as much as other children his age, she put us in touch with an early childhood organization that helps toddlers and preschoolers develop. After a few weeks of meetings, tests, and lots of paperwork, we got the diagnosis I had been dreading: TJ was on the autism spectrum.
The time since the diagnosis has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. We’ve had good days, bad days, and days straight from Hell. If you’re in a similar place, have friends who are, or think your child may have some sort of sensory or developmental challenges, know you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid.
Hi friends! I love writing for you here on Delightfully Frazzled, but I also love getting to share the words of others who can offer you different wisdom. Today I’m super excited to introduce Pachi, a pediatric sleep consultant who is passionate about helping kids (and parents!) get better rest. She’s sharing her opinions on the swaddle: why she recommends it, when to stop using it, and how to effectively transition out of it. She has some great tips for helping newborns sleep better! If you’re a new or soon-to-be parent, check out her great advice. You can also find more helpful articles and resources at her website!
As a baby sleep expert and a newborn care specialist I get asked often lots of questions about the swaddle. “Is a swaddle a prop? Is it useful? Where do you stand on a swaddle? When do I start the transition from the swaddle to a sleep sack?”
Hi Beautiful Humans. Wouldn’t it be fabulous to live in a world where physical beauty truly doesn’t affect us? As a mom of two (and just as a woman!), I struggle with how I think about my appearance on a daily basis. That’s why I’m so excited to introduce you to Natalie today! Natalie is an image coach and mother of two, and she’s here to share some of her wisdom about beauty, loving our bodies and accepting who we are– both as moms and as women. I’ve loved working with Natalie, and her work touches my heart! I hope her words bless you today like they’ve blessed me.
Don’t you think that’s true? The more we feel we’re on top of everything the more we radiate and the more people radiate towards us! We all have that one friend who always seems to have it together, who never worries about people looking at her, judging her or talking about her– and we envy her carefree attitude to life. But, being comfortable with yourself is not an easy ask, especially when we are bombarded on a daily basis with societies idea of “Perfection.”
Hey Beautiful Humans! Today I’m excited to share another fabulous mother as part of our Everyday Wisdom from Everyday Super moms series. Bethany from Biracial Bookworms is an international educator and mother who has raised a little one all over the world. Check out her amazing story!
My name is Bethany. I am married to the most amazing man, Tony, who I met overseas while teaching in Turkmenistan (Central Asia). My husband works for the US Embassy, so for the last 8 years, we have been traveling around the world together doing what we love most professionally. (We have lived in Turkmenistan, Egypt, Ukraine, Latvia, and most recently in Mauritania (West Africa).
My daughter was born in Cairo, Egypt in 2011; she is currently in Kindergarten. She has attended the International Schools I have taught at overseas, so moving to DC area with the vast diversity makes her feel right at home. We just moved back to the U.S. in June 2016, and currently live in the DC area (a 3-year assignment) and our second baby girl is due to arrive in just a few weeks.
With my oldest daughter, I loved everything pumpkin. I could not get enough! If anyone brought me pumpkin bread at school, I would cry and hug them, which thankfully in Egyptian culture, was acceptable!
With my current pregnancy, I love anything lemon. I had Lemon Ricotta pancakes at The Cheesecake Factory recently and was literally in HEAVEN. I have gone over 8 months without any aversions at all, until just this week when my husband was marinating steak recently and used apple cider vinegar. The smell took over the house and I went outside on the balcony in the freezing cold and snow just to run from the smell.
I was named after a city (Bethany, Israel) so I wanted to continue the tradition with my children. My first daughter, (Havana Jordan) was named after Havana, Cuba and the middle eastern country of Jordan. I will be giving birth to my 2nd daughter in about 3 weeks and we are still deciding between Laurel (California), Serena (Chile), or Victoria (Victoria Falls, Zambia).
We moved to Mauritania (West Africa) in 2014 and most of the streets are lined with garbage. People in the city are consistently throwing trash out their windows or down on the ground as they walk and it is culturally normal. I myself was shocked by this, but I did not realize my 3 ½ year old was soaking it in as well. After only a few weeks of living there, on a walk with neighbors, she threw down the juice carton she had finished on the ground. I immediately reacted and asked her to pick it up saying “we throw our garbage away in the trash can; it is not polite to throw garbage on the ground.” She responds with “but that is where Africans throw their trash.”
In Ukraine, all of the jarred baby food had a ton of sugar included. So, I bought baby cookbooks and a quality blender and taught myself how to make my own baby food. It was out of necessity, but because I started early with introducing my daughter to spices and flavors in her food. This translated into her being a fantastic eater to this day. In my classroom, I have a LOT of picky eaters. I thank God daily for my daughter eating whatever I make for her with no problem.
Recommended books for baby food:
Recommended baby food websites:
Do not buy into the guilt. There are so many who will judge you for being a working mother; this is not going to change. You know what your family needs and how to best meet those needs. You know if you are connecting with your children even when you work outside the home. Take time to reflect on the balancing act, but do not apologize to those who have chosen to stay at home. Both stay at home mothers as well as working mothers are rock stars and champions. We mothers need all the encouragement we can get; let’s all remember we are on the same team of raising amazing kids.
In March, 2015 (my daughter had just turned 5) we were on holiday in Sydney, Australia. We get in the elevator in our hotel where a man in a hat and his wife are inside.
My daughter Havana: (skipped inside) Hello!!
(The man turns around and my husband and I try not to geek out when we recognize it is Rod Stewart)
H: Watch, I can snap!
Rod Stewart: Wow, amazing! Can you whistle like this? (Demonstrates)
H: No I can’t whistle, but I can sing! (Starts freestyling a song she knows and then with her hip jutted out and all sassy then says); Can you sing???
Rod Stewart: Not like you, that was fantastic!
Havana: I know right!
My husband and I immediately dropped our jaws that our little one had just asked an internationally famous singer if he could sing as well as she could.
I didn’t start learning a second language until I was in middle school. Even then, it was a class you took for 45 minutes a day at school. I traveled to Mexico frequently (I grew up in San Diego), as well as had many Hispanic co-workers, friends at school. I wished I was more fluent then and now. I’ve taken language lessons overseas in every country we moved to, but learning languages as an adult is so much more difficult. For this reason, we started teaching our daughter multiple languages from the day we brought her home from the hospital. We hired a nanny that would only speak the local dialect to our daughter while my husband and I were working. My daughter speaks 3 languages and working on her 4th as a Kindergartener and I could not be more proud (or more jealous).
I could write a book about the things my daughter has taught me, but the biggest thing I think I have learned the past 6 years is watching her compassion for others and animals. She delights in helping, whereas I would either not notice or not care. She has taught me so much about slowing down to enjoy the smaller moments when I tend to be running a race all the time.
I feel humbled all the time at the mistakes I continually make with parenting. I have to remember that I will never get it exactly right and I have to apologize and move on in parenting just as I do in my marriage, my career, etc. Having your child repeat your behaviors and mistakes you are not proud of is very humbling, and a great reminder that I am only human. It makes me a lot less judgmental of a person when I see my weaknesses reflected in my daughter.
You know your child the best. Everyone you meet will have advice and you cannot possibly follow all of it or please everyone. There will always be a critic no matter what you do, and in this day and age where we google everything and the opinions make us think that we are failing at the parenting thing… do not be discouraged. You are your child’s best advocate and trust your instincts. Never back down from fighting for what you feel is right for your child.
Bethany Edwards has been a professional educator for 10 years with solid background in design and development of educational programs in literacy and curriculum development. Currently Bethany is taking a reprieve from classroom teaching to have another baby after returning recently to the United States. Her background includes teaching in grades K-8th, Curriculum Coordinator, Literacy Coach, Mentor Teacher, and Reading Specialist. She has taught in California, Turkmenistan, Egypt, Ukraine, Latvia, and Mauritania. She and her husband, Anthony, and their daughter live in Alexandria, VA and are enjoying spending quality time with their family traveling, playing sports, and cultural events.
Hey Momma. You are pretty incredible, you know that? You are hard-working and super cool and so, so important.
Can I be vulnerable with you for a minute? (Seeing as I can’t actually hear you as I type this, I’m just gonna go ahead and assume you answered “yes.”) My first 2 years as a mom were the hardest of my life. I didn’t have a support system, I was dealing with major undiagnosed depression and anxiety, and I thought my struggles were completely my fault. I was convinced I wasn’t cut out to be a mom. Mothering my beautiful son, who should have brought me immeasurable joy, sent me into a state of panic and desperation almost daily.
Something needed to change. I needed help. I needed to take care of myself.
Today I’m excited to share another fabulous momma with you for the Every Day Super Moms series! This interview is by Jenny from An Introvert’s Guide to Sobriety. She’s got some anazing wisdom to share– check it out!
If you feel like you haven’t been hearing from me much recently, that’s because you haven’t.
One of the most important aspects of running a parenting blog for me is to remain authentic and be honest about my wonderful imperfections. And the past few weeks, those imperfections have been many. My anxiety spiked and the little Gremlins of Self-doubt seeped into my mind with a vengeance. I decided, for my own wellbeing, to step back from my blog for a bit and indulge in some R&R.
Now I’m all for working hard and being consistent in life, but I’m also a huge advocate of stepping back when you need it. R&R isn’t frivolous and unproductive. It’s vital to YOUR mental and emotional health. Taking a step back to recharge is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself– and for others in your life who rely on you. As a mother, I am ALWAYS more equipped to care for and raise my kiddos when I’m at peace and taking care of myself. Seriously, friends, self-love is SO critical to being a mom. Please take care of yourself, Beautiful Human.
If you’ve been following Delightfully Frazzled for long, you’re probably aware that I’m in love with independent and sensory play activities! Anything that both entertains and teaches my curious little whirlwind is a-okay with me. I’ve posted plenty about sensory play and how to help your child play independently, and today I’m excited to share another fabulous and simple activity with you!